Japan Trend Shop

In an effort to waste both my time and yours I'm reporting today on one of the greatest websites I've ever come across.

The Internet, as you know, is an ocean of idiocy but every now and then you find that rare stupidity gem, the glittering rhinestone of inanity on the denim jacket of preposterousness, the moronic peperoni on the pizza of absurdity.  This is just such a website.

It's called Japan Trend Shop and is specializes in Brookstone-like items made by, and for, the Japanese.  The prime example of a Japan Trend Shop item, I think, is the Hizamakura knee lap pillow (for those times when only half of a woman will do).  There's also the Ear Scope Fiber optic earwax cleaner, which would only be complete with the MIHARU - Professional Intraoral Plaque Detection Camera + Extra or the Etiquette Checker bad breadth and alcohol test.

The really entertaining part of Japan Trend Shop are the models who are demonstrating these things.  They're being paid to look as though they have been waiting all their pathetic, meaningless life they have been waiting for an asinine thing like this to bring them joy and fulfillment.  Check out the women demonstrating the Head Kenzan Japanese massager or the girls using the Ear Scope GXL High End Endoscope, or better still the woman using the Akaishi Facial Massager (who looks more like she's being attacked by a squid...maybe she should try theTakoyaki Maker Automatic Octopus Balls).  

But our favorite product has to be the Tuttuki Bako augmented reality game.  Stick your finger in and have some fun!  Apparently "Tuttuki Bako" means "Poking Box." It is imperative that you watch the video for this one.  I'll let you come up with your own comments about this one.  

 楽しみなさい!

(enjoy!)

Happy Day Day

Today is "Make Up Your Own Holiday" day.

Any suggestions?

Carmellina had nothing to add.

Super Happy Fun Time! Very Much!

I’m writing this from the waiting room at the local ER.  I woke up this today with some pretty bad back and groin pain.  By lunch time today I was urinating blood.  What fun!  I’m guessing it’s another kidney stone but I’ve been waiting since 1:15 for them to take me back and run their tests.  It’s 2:45 right now.  I’m still waiting.

As I sit here I get to watch the ebb and flow of other Philadelphians who find themselves landed here.  It’s like playing a weird game of “guess-the-illness.”  Most people don’t have anything outwardly wrong with them.  No one is bleeding from the eyes or missing a limb.  I would assume that should I walk in with, say, a metal pole piercing my chest I might get taken immediately.  We’re all just docked here with the enigmatic promise of being seen by a doctor “soon.”  We are the walking wounded, marginally lame and innocuously ill.

For the last two hours now I have had the rare privilege of listening to one afternoon soap opera after another being broadcast from the plasma screen above my head.  I have not noticed a single person direct their attention to the screen in the whole time I’ve been sitting here.  I’d change the channel but there is a menacing sign written in pen on a piece of notebook paper that says “Do Not Touch” and implies “Or We’ll Make Sure That You Never Get Seen.”  Besides, even if no one is watching the soap operas I’m sure I’m the only one who wants to watch Cartoon Network.

*******

Five hours, sever tubes of blood and two prescriptions later and I’m back home again…looks like it was “just” a kidney stone.  They checked everything (and I mean everything) and in the end there’s nothing much more that they can do.  I have to drink lots of fluids and wait until I pass what appears to be a “pretty big stone.”  I guess that’s one of those medical terms that only doctors understand.

New Style

Spring is in the air!  

New Season...new look!

Letter to Bakery Thrift Store

Dear Bakery Thrift Store,
Whom do you think you are fooling? You sell old baked goods. The stuff regular bakeries throw away. So what if a loaf of bread is only 29 cents? It's old bread.
Should I start collecting roadkill squirrels, glue cotton balls to their butts and open an 'Aftermarket Rabbit Thrift Store?' 

Oh, wait. Yes I should. Thank you Bakery Thrift Store. 

Love,

JS

Happy St. Joseph's Day

So today is my holiday.

To celebrate it I'm going to...well I'm not going to do anything.

But in case you're looking to do something here's a very promising recipe for sfingi (not zeppole):

Sfingi Di San Giuseppe

St. Patty O'Meatball

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

The one day of the year when eveyone's a little bit Irish...except the gays and the Italians.

(this is "Italian Clover"...it's an herb)

I Love My Lips!

Today is "Lips Appreciation Day."

Here's a little tune about appreciating lips:

Enjoy!

Going Public

Well we kept it a secret since Christmas but we're finally ready to spill the beans 

...and they are exciting beans.

Jessie is about 15 weeks pregnant!

We're expecting number 4 on August 26th, one day after Joey's birthday!

Happy Birthday Michelangelo!

Today would have been Michelangelo's 534th birthday.  (They always die so young *sniff*)

He was a raving genius, a stubborn man, and (you guessed it) another leftie!!!

Happy birthday Mikey...and uh...get some clothes on those guys!

Happy March!

March Monthly Observances

Adopt A Rescued Guinea Pig Month
Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) Month
Employee Spirit Month
Humorists Are Artists Month
International Expect Success Month
International Ideas Month
International Listening Awareness Month
International Mirth Month
National Caffeine Awareness Month
National Cheerleading Safety Month
National Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month
National Craft Month
National Eye Donor Month
National Frozen Food Month
National Nutrition Month
National On-Hold Month
National Umbrella Month
Optimism Month
Play The Recorder Month
Small Press Month
Supply Management Month
Youth Art Month

March Weekly Observances

National Consumer Protection Week: 1-7
National Ghostwriters Week: 1-7
National Words Matter Week: 1-7
National Write A Letter of Appreciation Week: 1-7
Return The Borrowed Books Week: 1-7
World Folk Tales & Fables Week: 1-7
Celebrate Your Name Week: 1-7
National Professional Pet Sitters Week: 1-7
National Sleep Awareness Week: 1-8
National School Breakfast Week: 2-8
National Procrastination Week: 2-8
Turkey Vultures Return to The Living Sign: 11-17
National Money Week: 13-15
World's Rattlesnake Roundup Week: 13-15
Yo-Yo and Skill Toys Week: 13-22
National Toad Hollow Week: 14-21
Act Happy Week: 16-22
Campfire USA Birthday Week: 16-22
International Brain Awareness Week: 16-22
American Chocolate Week: 17-22 (Always 3rd Week)
National Bubble (blowers) Week: 20-26
Root Canal Awareness Week: 29-4/4

March Daily Observances

Beer Day: 1
Pig Day: 1
I Want You To Be Happy Day: 3
National Anthem Day: 3
Unique Names Day: 3
What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs? Day: 3
International Scrapbooking Industry Day: 4
March Forth-Do Something Day: 4
National Grammar Day: 4
Learn What Your Name Means Day: 4
Middle Name Pride Day: 6
Sherlock Holmes Day: 6-8
Genealogy Day: 7
National Be Heard Day: 7
U.S. Snowshoe Day: 7
Check Your Batteries Day: 8
Ground Water Awareness Day: 8
Barbie Day: 9
Napping Day: 9
Panic Day: 9
Organize Your Home Office Day: 10
Johnny Appleseed Day: 11
Earmuffs Day: 13
National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day: 13
International Ask A Question Day: 14
International Fanny Pack Day: 14 (2nd Saturday)
Pi Day (as in the math pie = 3.14159265 etc.): 14
Buzzards Day: 15
Ides of March: 15
Lips Appreciation Day: 16
Awkward Moments Day: 18
Forgive Mom and Dad Day: 18
National Chocolate Caramel Day: 19
Swallows Return to San Juan Capistrano Day: 19
Great American Meat Out Day: 20
Snowman Burning Day: 20
Corn Dog Day: 21
Maple Syrup Day: 21
National Quilting Day: 21
As Young As You Feel Day: 22
International Day of The Seal: 22
International Goof-off Day: 22
Spring Fairy Fun Day: 22
National Puppy Day: 23
National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day: 24
Kick Butts Day: 25
Pecan Day: 25
Make Up Your Own Holiday Day: 26
Grass Is Always Browner On The Other Side Of The Fence Day: 30
Pencil Day: 30
Bunsen Burner Day: 31
National "She's Funny That Way" Day: 31