The Five Senses of Parenting - Part 2: Sound

Things I never thought I’d hear until I became a father of 4:

The sound of a person’s body falling from their bed
The sound of a person’s body as they fall from the couch
The sound of a person’s body as they fall from a kitchen chair
Grown men and women cheering for someone who pooped on the potty
My own voice saying, “There is no way I had this many toys when I was a kid.”
My wife’s voice saying, “Don’t put the applesauce in your hair.”
A screaming baby at 2:30am
A computer generated asparagus singing “This is My Father’s World”
The same asparagus singing “This is My Father’s World” 27 consecutive times
A baby passing gas louder than me
The sentence: I don’t like french fries
People screeching because they’re happy
A baby crying for a 3½ hour car trip
My wife crying after that same car trip
My daughter telling the cop that pulled me over, “Daddy knows all about the police.”
Someone telling me “He has your butt.”